Ok, that's cool. I was gonna blog about myself today anyway, lol.

The Rules
Link the person who tagged you: Veronica Wright (Hunnie) of The Ups (and downs) of Being Wright.
Mention the rules in your blog.
Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.
Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.
Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

My Issues

1. My mind is always in the gutter. Yep it just is. After I turned 25, I just started bouncing off the wall. So where ever I am, it just invades my thoughts. So if you see me in a business meeting, slightly licking my lips, while staring off in the distance, just let me be.

2. I wanted to be a naughty girl sales person. Still do, but decided to wait until I recovered from my foot surgery. I mean, I'd just be holding dildos in the air and going on about the marvelous attributes it possesses, and every one would be staring at my huge roboboot. I love all those toys and such. Yeah, you could say that I'm passionate about them, so it'll be the perfect item to sell. I even created a blog around the stories that might come as being this type of sales person, as well as erotic stories, but maybe once it all comes about I'll actually post something.

3. I never curse in real life. Well, when I really want to emphasize something, or when I'm in character. That will be about once a day, maybe more if my life is a wreck, but it doesn't count, cause I'm in character... I'll curse in a blog though. But doesn't adding *, ! and @ make it clean. You know like when a curse word is bleeped.

4. I didn't graduate from high school. Nope just didn't. Wanted to, but had no choice.

5. I hate answering the phone. Mostly because it disturbs me from being on the Internet. When I'm at home, I'm on my laptop, but I'll put you on mute and keep typing. When I'm on the iPhone, well, I have no choice, because Edge deactivates when the phone is in use. When I'm at work, well it's mostly because some one is calling me about my equivalents assigned buildings, knowing that it's not my building. They'll state that, then acknowledge how busy they know I'm am, and then proceed to ask me about whatever issue they're having. I usually give them the business and kindly transfer the call.

6. I'm addicted to technology. I can't put my iPhone down. Everything is on there. I have all the web apps to all my social network. I'm actually really anticipated the web app for myspace, which is being created by one of my twitter (anther social network) friends.

OK, mom and sister us here to drive me about, so no re-tags. I know this was a little bootleg, but all I had was 15 minutes and time's up.


Or something like that...

So I went to a specialist about my throat. Nothing wrong there. They were like "and why did your doctor send you to us again?" Since my throat was my doctor's biggest concern, and all is well in that area, it makes me optimistic when it comes to my breast. It may be what Veronica said about the lumps in her mom's breast coming from consuming too much caffeine. I've been heavy on the Red Bull at work lately. Plus a large blended coffee drink with a million shots of espresso from Coffee Bean for lunch.

I had my foot surgery early yesterday. It went well of course. A 1-hour out patient procedure.

What happened with my foot? About a year ago I started running a mile, that's 4 full times around the track, approx 5 times a week. I loved it and not just because the pounds were dropping and my body was tightening. My time went from 18 minutes, needless to say, I was run/walking initially, to around 11 minutes in 4 months. It felt so good.

But then I started to notice that my feet were swollen and throbbing after each run. Then it would also happen after I would put in a full day of shopping at the mall. So I got a referral to a podiatrist. The Pod told me that I had a space between the bones in my foot, somewhere between the second and third toe. My foot doesn't look irregular or anything; you wouldn't be able to detect it by looking, only by x-ray. So he said I could either live with the problem of my feet hurting after a lot of activity forever, or I could have surgery to fix the problem with a recovery period of up to a year, since each foot would be done 3 or 4 months apart.

Needless to say, I opted for the surgery. I love running, but that wouldn't last if it continued to cause me pain. So my left foot was done in Sept, about a week before my bday, and that foot healed well. I've even wore heels since then, not too high though; still a little scared to really apply pressure.

This time is the right foot, so I can't drive for a month, while I'm wearing this robo-boot. Which means no work... YAY!!! I'll be using the rest of my sick time, as well as some vacation time, which is cool, because I'm almost maxed there. They are also checking to see if they can get me a laptop to work from home. I don't have a problem with that either; don't want one of those newbies to try and take my number one spot...

Needless to say, I'll be all up and through the bloggersphere in the coming weeks. But for now I'm off to bed. The meds got my speech slurring, so I'm sure my typing isn't any better.


I'm not too sure anymore...

So I'm supposed to have foot surgery on Friday. As a precaution, I had to get a full exam from my doctor. The Dr. found a lump in each of my breast as well as something irregular in my throat. I'm still not sure what's what, or the exact diagnosis or what's the exact problem. All I know is I left the dr's office with about 4 referrals. My dr made the assistant call the other medical facilities to schedule emergency appointments for me. It seemed so unreal.

The appointments for my throat are in the morning. I have to meet with two different doctors. Hopefully, it turn out to be nothing. Hopefully... The doctor said I should only be worried if I previously had black outs and similar issues. But how would I know, lol. I know it's no time to joke. I've been asking those around me if I've been blacking out and with a raised eyebrow, they've all told me "no." So tomorrow we'll see. Hopefully I just slept wrong or something.

And apparently, the throat is a much bigger issue than the breast, but the breast scares me. My aunt died of breast cancer. She had her breast removed, but not before it spread to her lung. She was also my God Mom. She died when I was in the 4th grade, but I still miss her soo much.

My cousin also died of cancer at the age of 25. I don't remember what cancer she had, but it took her quickly. She had fallen in love with the guy she was dating. She went to the doctor for some birth control and and they found the cancer. She died a few months later. I think I was 19 at the time. She was my favorite cousin.

Fast forward to the dr telling me that I may have a lump in each breast and the tears streaming down my face as I thought about the fate of my cousin and aunt; the dr.'s words were a blur. Rewind to the last time I had these feelings that cancer was creeping back into my life. I was working as a check cashing teller at the Nix Checking Cashing in Watts about 10 years ago. It was 10 minutes before closing and I was handling the last of the customers. My mother called me to tell me that her dr found a cyst in her breast. Again with the tears, this time, I was counting out money to the customers. I remember a guy walking away from the window with his money saying that I was crying like I was giving away my own money. No idiot, I thought I was going to loose my mother. Turns out her cysts were nothing.

She always assured me that we didn't have to worry about cancer. Said that she had her own father, and that cancer runs in her sibling's father's family, separate from our bloodline. Hopefully that's the case. The lumps are located in the same place of each breast, so maybe it's from the bras I wear or something. *shrugs*

So I've been upset all day and finally text my boyfriend to tell him what's going on. His phone can't receive calls from his basement office. So we finally get each other on the phone. I tell him what's going on, and we talk about what it could mean and that it's going to be ok and all that stuff. So he tells me that he's going to some kind of improv thing with his friend, and I ask him to stay at home with me, but he just can't miss whatever this thing is. I mean, I guess I could have told him that I needed him to stay home with me tonight, just tonight. I never ask him to change his plans, and I'm not usually emotionally needy, but since my life may have changed, I thought he would stay. I mean, who knows if I'll be around tomorrow.

But I guess a kiss on the cheek or a stroke on my arm doens't cure cancer, or whatever may or may not be wrong with me. So why do I really need him here. I can wipe my own damn tears...


They were in my purse; the one I've been carrying for the past 2 months. Who would have thought?

I always joke with Sweetums about how the rattle from my handbag makes me sound like a pill popper. And in my deranged state I didn't even think of checking my suitcase of a handbag that holds my whole life. I only went into the purse because I needed to put my cell on the charger, and taadaaa, there they were.

I took one pill. After the pain slowed I had my nightly popsicle. I awoke in the bed pants-less around noon. I don’t remember how i got there or removing my pants. Last thing I recall was laying across his thigh on the couch while he watched 30 Days of Night for the 50th time.

I was happy to see my closet in order. I mean the shoes were put back on the shelves, as well as the handbags and my foot spa and steamer. Though the shoes weren't in order of heel height or color order and some leather bags were on the same shelves as canvas shelves, I can’t complain. He tried. At least I don't have to bend down and pick it all up.

So I got up and fixed us some eggs sausage, grits and toast. And I’m still waiting on my tip on that one, LOL. I was still sleepy, so I took a catnap that lasted until 5 when he came home from working.

So I had him to take me to run some errands. I don't know why, but I like having him drive me around, though in my car. And it ain't cause I’m lazy, LOL. So on my list of errands was putting a new prescription for my upcoming surgery. Some dayum Vidodin again. Probably will never open the bottle, but like the other night, never know when you'll need one. Plus Cigpin at work keeps asking to buy my meds. I always turn her down, but I do recognize that the pills are worth a lil bit of money. I look at them as another savings account.


"where is it?" I'm frantically walking/running through our apartment with the jitters. I'm shaking and shit. "Where is it?" I must look crazy right now. I think I'm scaring Sweetums. If he would just leave me the heyell alone to my search and stop asking me what's wrong; as if I want to talk right now. As if I could…

I just passed a mirror, yeah; I can confirm that I do look crazy. I took my bra off when I first walked through the door, so my titees are justa bouncing with my every frantic step. We ate barbeque tonight, so my pants are still unbuttoned from when I relieved the muffin top that resulted from eating ribs from Phillip's Bar-B-Que for dinner. And yeah, I have a few burgundy colored sauce stains on my new pink and white top that I bought from the Ann Taylor outlet last weekend. My hair is all over the place, because after I took off my bra, I also removed my pony tail holder; I always do these things, in this order whenever I come home without the plan of exiting my apt. So my hair is all over the place from taking a nap earlier. My eyes are big, they just are, nothing new. "Where is it?" I'm walking from closet to closet, room to room tossing things around. The first placed I tossed was the bathroom, then the home office and living room and now my last resort is the closet.

I'm tossing each shoe from my shoe closet listening for a rattle as I do so. Some shoes haven't been worn for over a year. They're saying the same thing that Meredith Grey said to Mc Dreamy, "pick me choose me," but disappointed when they see the floor rapidly approaching as they fly through the air. Each shoe drops with a simple thud, and I think I hear a small cry of disappointment. *sigh* "where is it?"

On top of my shoes, each handbag is on the floor upside down or sideways, with its contents empty. I've carried each bag for an average of 3 months, never longer than 4. My birthday is in September, Sweetums buys me a new bag. Then xmas, he buys me another. Valentines, almost 3 months later, another piece of arm candy. June comes around; need a new bag for summer, this one I buy for myself. Each of those $300-$600 Coach, Dooney and Marc by Marc Jacobs bags, they only have 3 months of glory, followed by a shelf life of up to 2 years. Now they're on the floor being trampled as their neighbor anticipates the same fate. Going from neglected to abuse is a bad fate.

But "where the fuck is it?" once the essentials was transferred to the new bag, the old bag was never cleared of its content. In the bag, you'll find receipts for 3 months, 3 months worth of movie tickets. New pictures of my niece nephew and goddaughter given to me those 3 months. Three months worth of check stubs, business cards of folks I met that September, October and November. The lip-gloss I favored as well as my got-to lotion during that quarter of the year.

But to no avail, the three objects that I received from three different occurrences in my life can't be found in any of my bags. The first occurrence is getting my wisdom tooth pulled, the second is getting my teeth pulled for my braces and the third occurrence is getting foot surgery. Each time I was given Vicodin or Tylenol Codeine. Three different bottles of approximately 24 pills in each. Each time I took approx 3 or 4 pills, and left the rest be. Didn't need them, didn't want them. I don't like drugs and avoid when possible.

But now I need them. Gawd how I want them. Where the fuck are they? What the fuck happened to the other 60 or so pills? Sweetums isn't a pill popper so what gives. I've tossed my drawers, including the one that contains balls, bullets and batteries, but still nothing. We moved a few months ago, but we moved us and no one else. They couldn't have been missing before then, but who knows. There have been a few family functions, but siblings would have simply told me they were jacking. Maybe the culprit was Sweetum’s customers who ask to use the restroom and riffle through the medicine cabinet. *shrugs* Who knows.

So now I'm here under this laptop and it feels like I'm getting my teeth pulled again, but this time without the pain killers. But slowly, not abruptly as in real life. Just pulling just so, while still holding onto that plier-like extraction device that dentists use, then pulling enough to bring the pain to a throb. Then holding while watching me wiggle, squirm and tear, then when I’m used to that level of pain, another throbbing pull.

I have Advil and Nyquil, hopefully that’ll get me through the night. But I’m thinking I’ll really need the strong stuff to finally go to sleep…

And I eat a popsicle every night before bed. Besides the paid, I can’t take that coldness, but another reason why I won’t get to sleep tonight.



That was a close one. *wipes brow*

Our department had this big deadline on the 9th. It was a do or die deadline. So since none of us lease administrators were even close to this deadline, the synopsis of the department was that we were going to get fired. Every time one of my fellow LA’s would exit the bosses’ office, another would ask, “Did you get fired?” and he or she would say, “Naw, not this time around.” Then another time, when I came out of her office, one asked, “So we still getting fired?” And I would say, “Not today. Probably tomorrow once the deadline arrives…”

Technically, none of our jobs are in jeopardy, but the task was presented in a way that said unemployment was on the horizon, if not complete. So then there was an email sent out requesting mandatory overtime. I tried to pull some extra hours. I came in early on days I knew I couldn’t stay late, and cut my lunches down to 30 minutes. Do you know how hard it is to get to work at 630 am, when your regular arrival time is 830. Even did a Saturday and a Sunday here and there. But one Wednesday, the byf and I took a trip to PF Changs, which caused me to call in sick on Thursday. Then on Saturday and Sunday, I didn’t come to work either, as I had to do some research for an upcoming school assignment. So Monday comes and my grand boss (my boss’ boss) asks to see my progress and when she learns that I’m not as far ahead as she thought I should be, she said I would get reprimanded if I didn’t finish on time.

On top of that, we still have our regular work. So I’ll be working on something from the project, and we’ll get an email from my boss, asking for status on rent rolls, because she hasn’t been cc’ed on any outgoing emails, and that the emails should have been sent out yesterday. So we’re like, “aw fuck” and start working on rent rolls. An hour later we’ll get an email about mimo forms and how they shouldn’t be on our desk for over 24 hours, and the same thing over and over again all dayum day. No one can work like this.

So I march my azz, right up to HR to release some frustration. I know that our grandboss had been evaluated by some of the managers under her, and the synopsis was that she assigns impossible deadlines. Ya think? So I tell my HR manager everything. She’s real cool. She’s the kind of hr person that has the back of the employee and will give you neutral answers and advice. So we get down to the school vs work issue. And I tell her that I’m not doing so well in school either, because I have to work so much and if I was succeeding in at least one, it wouldn’t be so bad. So now she’s pissed, because she knows how much my education means to me.

As I’m speaking, she’s writing everything down. So then she asks if she could approach my greatgrandboss with this issue, the CFO, and I’m like, uhh, ok, sure, why not. So then she says, hmm, that means that I’m going to have to talk to the 1st VP of HR also, is that ok, and I’m like well, I guess, umm whatever. She goes on to tell me that I’m not the only one that has complained and so on and so forth, so it won’t be like all of this came from me, just a collective issue from a whole department.

So I go back to my desk and I’m not looking forward to the next couple of days. On top of the upcoming deadline date, I’m sure that talk is going to bit me in the butt. Plus the grandboss was at Disney World for a week, and while it seemed like I should be pizzed at this, since I was dayum near living in the office, I was happy she was across the country.

So on Monday, the day before the deadline, I hear the CFO’s voice and he goes into the grandboss’ office. I’m super nervous, hoping I don’t get called in there also. I didn’t. But the next day, she asks me to stop by her office. OH, I could have died. So I decide not to put it off, and I’m in their with my lil professional leather covered journal.

She starts by talking about the review process that happened about a month ago. She then talks about how she fought to get me more money above the average raise of most in the company. And all the time my eyebrows are furrowed and my head is going in a slow boob. Then she says she’s raising my salary again. And I’m like, “Umm, Okaaay?” *looks around for the hidden camera* And that was it. She tells me that I’m a resource to the department, and she hopes I continue to make myself available to any new hires or temps. And I’m like, “Sure, whatev, they have questions and I have answers.” She asked me if I had any questions and I didn’t. She said since I looked so shocked, if I think of any later on, to feel free to stop by her office. And I’m ok, cool, I guess. *still looking around for Ashton Kutcher*

Soooo, basically, if you count last month’s raise and what not, I’m making 10k more a year. I guess I should be happy. *shrugs* Who wouldn’t want more money.

I usually raise my 401k and savings deposit when I get raises. But since my 401k is at 12%, I think I might let this raise ride out for a few months. Maybe buy myself a new wardrobe, like I’ve been meaning to. I’m still looking over my shoulder though.